Admendments

8 relationships. Is actually 4. The other 4 was crushes but i felt it was a relationship to me. So judge me for what you want cause i don't care. People who really know me knows the truth. If you feel good to write things like these by all means. As long people believe in and trust me is all that is needed.

I will submit to No-one

I wasn't like this before but something made me change and i can neverhange back again. No one have one through what i've gone though and no one knows what i truely feel not even myself. I just try to hide and hide and sometimes it just pops out like a jack in the box. I am brought up to not depend on men. Men in my family cannot be trusted and had hurt me and my mother and grandmother. Its enough. Just let us go.

Everytme i get into a relationship, i warn ppl about my character and they all say they can take it. Tell me how much they love me and no matter what they will still love me. All are rubbish. 8 relationships all failures.

I admit that i am:
- tempremental (easily gets agitated and flares up but cools downs easily)
- lazy - weak in health
- still hanging on the fears of the past
- loud
- crazy
- daring ( in a sense of speech)

and many more......If you cannot accept the worst of me then u are not worthy to accept the best from me. I will submit to no-one.

Don't provoke me and don't even think about trying to take advantage of me. I have had it. Don't make me turn into a wandering spirit and dun make me unfilial to my mother.

Malaysia Trip

Went to malaysia a few time over the month and got really great deals for my gothic collections. In singapore, a gothic bag, pair or high flat heel boots and a gothic top, i think it would have simply cost me around $300-$400. But i got them at S$150. Best still. I even got a membership card from that shop. First time ever a membership card from overseas....haha...hmmmm.....well malaysia cross border le consider overseas lar...haha

Just moved over to hougang but renovations still not done yet. haiz. Not used to the environment here. Have been staying at serangoon for so long and now....i guess i just have to try to adapt as fast as i can ba...

Relationship wise, i kinda feel so hurt. Why is he always so rash and hurtful. Aren't guys older suppose to be more mature? All i want is for that someone to take care and look after me and protect me. Not the other way around. Is it really in my family blood that the women are usually much fiercer and dominant over deciding issues? I really don't know. So confused.

My pets

Mao Mao = Handsome, adorable, Eat and Sleep (thinking that he can run away from me by
running on the wheel)...

Kuromi = Fast, growing bigger and fatter, violent ( all the scratches), smart...

Chelsea = Doorbell, Jealously, hyperactive at home but timid outside, acting pittiful when he
does something wrong, attention seeking...

I placed Mao Mao's (Long haired syrian hamster) cage beside Kuromi's (Dawf Rabbit) cage and this is what happened:

Mao Mao: What is this big black thing looking at mi. (So he hides, sleep and eat at the end of the
other side of the cage)

Kuromi: What is this small golden and hairy creature infornt of mi...hmm....so curious (So she
stays stil at the corner of the cage looking at Mao Mao making him scared)

Now Kuromi, Mao Mao and Chelsea:

Kuromi and Chelsea = Fight + Run + Toy (of course i protect Kuromi)

Mao Mao and Chelsea = Toy (of course i protect Mao Mao)

Mao Mao and Kuromi = Jealously (later then attend to Chelsea)

Now Kuromi, Mao Mao, Chelsea and me = bites, kisses and scratches (with blood visible and
wound swollen)

But I love them all.

So many things happening

So many things happened to me. I really don't know what to do or what should I do anymore. Some are already in the past but some is still ongoing. Something is wrong with me. I don't know why thoughts and temper keep changing. It seems bad. Is like i want something but yet i don't want something. Anyway just confused.

Went to watch the Korean Breakout Dance comedy at th esplanade. Its beyond any words of praise i can say. The music, the breakdancing, popping, beatboxing, hiphop, sound and visual effects and so on....the entire concert was worth watching. Mi screamming and clapping with some entu ppl around but i think the ppl on my side all quite shy and must be thinking i'm crazy but they deserve my cheers for that performance. Too bad ah girl not there to watch...he will love it.

Went back for class already stress, then i saw ppl that were suppose to grad came back to attend class and they said this subject 1/2 the cohort failed. Wahhhhh....additional stress sia. Just hope that everything will move on smoothly.

The recent animes that i watch all ended with sad endings and i cried. Why all sad endings? Really wanna see ppl happy even though they are just imaginary.

Class Starts and confused

Attended class today but everyone seem to still be in holiday mood. I somehow have no impressions on the previous lesson. Only one week and my memory is failing mi. Haiz.

Things that needs to remember, i'll tend to forget. As for things i should not remember or think of, it lingers in the mind. Human mind is just so questionable.

Its so easy to fall in love but yet so hard to maintain it well. Its not like machineries or buildings where there is a systematic approach, love is so much complicated or am i making it complicated. I don't know. I have my fears and time to time it triggers. Sometimes it even gets out of control where i feel like dying and ending all. I keep asking myself, will i be able to live to see the 2nd arrival of lord jesus christ. How would it be like.

New Creation church

One day, one guy asked this question:

"Why did God made women so beautiful and yet so stupid?"

His wife heard it and said, I know the answer,

"God made us beautiful so that YOU will marry me and God made me stupid so that i will marry YOU."

Stand up and position yourself lke a cross. People often look southwards, eastwards, westwards. All the things that are surrounding us, but what we should actually do is look northwards; look up, to God and recieve his blesings.

People often say, to catch a man, u have to catch him by the stomach, but what if the women is not a very good cook (for example me)? Well not to worry. There is one other secret weapon and that is to RESPECT ur partner. During conversations, bring it to a tone where it is not demanding but negotiable.

Do unto people on what you want people to do upon you. You need to respect others before people can respect you. - Elaine's motto