History repeating itself

Is it so hard to maintain a frienship or a fun outdoor gathering just because someone is attached? So as to have a normal and fun outing ends up amages in all place. Friends, bf and me. What's the point. I can't always blame on my deression even though its medically proven that it got worst but i still have to manage it i know. Now glen keep asking me is it because of him that i cannot enjoy mt time with friends. I seriously don't think its his. But it have became an image setted.

An outing but just because glen is around we 2 have to be left alone? Why? Say to "xiang qin xiang ai"? If i have not spent enough time with him i would have accompained him instead of going out as a group. When i go out as a group, it becomes no difference from a date with him. So whats the whole point about going out as a group? I seriously don't understand. Not updated about wearbouts when saying will reach marina sqare to eat. Waited there like idots not knowing anything. Last minute recieve phone call say at city link. From marina barrage go city link when saying on the way to marina square and ended up choose to go back to flyer after asked mi to decide and wait.

When out without glen, i'm stupid. I can't catch up wit things and topics, then ended up left out. Ask? This secret that secret. Then go out in couple, 2 person goes invisible. When voicing out on how i felt i was treated ppl say i hurt them by saying this. But sometimes with so many ppl u really tend to neglect others. Odd numbers is always like that. Especially while walking.

Voice out wrong. Don't voice out ppl say u never voice out how they know. So how? "tay gong tay siao" lar? 

2 days straight

Yesterday went out with chua and eillen. Eileen was drunk and seriously spoke things that made my heart ache. Say me this kind of "standad" also got so many people like....sob sob...then ena shot by her many time. From the time i met her till i alight from the train. When she's drunks, watever she says, "yi zhen jian xue".

Then today wnt out with them again for movie. Xavier chen qing yuan also went. Supose to shoot and qarrel with eileen. In the end i kenna again. "si be sian" -_-
Went to watch jack neo's movie Where got Ghost. end up crying, laughing and screaming in the theater. So much mixed feelings within one movie.

Please lar next time don't keep aiming me. I very kelian le. since young kenna bully till now....

Tell me what kind of person is this

underwater camera says:
hey

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
ya?

underwater camera says:
wat u doing ah

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
working and studying

underwater camera says:
ah?
work as wat

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
mlm
underwater camera says:
omg
ahaha
sad case
u need money
dont work this kidn

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
i like this job

underwater camera says:
LOL
how much u earn
sad case leh
i hate this kind

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
that is ut thinking
underwater camera says:
lol
u tell me
how mmuch u earn
selling awt
lame

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
since u so skeptic about it
y i have to waste my time telling u

underwater camera says:
lol
cuz u so enthu
lame leh
i offer u better pay
u go and do this nonsense
siao

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
no thanks

underwater camera says:
siao one leh
u no thanks to me
den u do that nonsense?
lame leh

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
then lame lor

underwater camera says:
nvm oh
gd luck loh
i give u 1 year
see where u go

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
i dun have to prove to u

underwater camera says:
nono
not prove
i wanna laugh
LOL
especialyl because u didnt listen

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
go ahead and laugh
y should i listen to u

underwater camera says:
.. cuz i'm saying the right thing
mlm i all hear b4
i tell u for your own good
leave b4 u do anythign
u dont listen
i sure laugh

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
go ahead

underwater camera says:
yeap
of course

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
I'm laughing too

underwater camera says:
OH?

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
for u being so immature

underwater camera says:
hahaha
me?
how so
pls explain

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
well its my pt of view
u need to listen

underwater camera says:
yea
wait
listen to wat?
u aint even saying anything
furthermore
how's tt immature?
so pls clarify

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
haha
u dun even understand

underwater camera says:
furthermore
u need to listen to
so ironic
u aint listening to wat i'm saying either

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
well y are u replying in such defensive mode

underwater camera says:
pot calling kettle black huh
cuz u called me immature
without substantiation

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
haha

underwater camera says:
so pls.clarify

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
i'm not wasting anytime with u

underwater camera says:
neither am i
u not listening yourself

el@ine- Galvinic Spa and TRA a new approach to life says:
go on

and so it seems it ends….

A series of Unfortunate Events

1) Super stress with exam and project work
2) 3rd sem. result was really bad
3) Last paper i did very badly
4) Rushing project not able to celebrate michie birthday and go animex fair
5) Project very blur, think there's mistake but too late and don't know where went wrong. Just submit.
6) Neighbour tried to mend soccer shoes but accidently drop and the carpet caught fire with thick smoke covering my front door. Neighbour got minor burns and got send to hospital to take injection. Fire brigade and the police came too.
7) Still sick after so long and fever came back
8) Mum sick and MC for 7 days
9) Both of us also went hospital for checkup
10) Deleted a childish guy and jerk who keeps mocking me over the same topic just because i don't wat to let him take photos with weird post. Stupid.

2projects to go,
Awaiting for liberity for school....haha

Things turnning bad

My depression is coming back and suddenly will have atack espically anixety attacks. So tird and restless. Easily feel very lycold. Terrible feeling. Think next time go out must wrap up like penguin and walk. -_-'''

Suddenly keep feeling like dying. Feel like eating everything that i want to eat all the things i like and that my life is coming to an end. I keep praying and seek help but it works only for a while. I can't seem to be strong enough.

I have not found my meaning in life yet. Haiz......

Sunday at michie

Spend the whole morning till evening looking at my RED book trying to study for exam and start doing project but ended up, the book know's me but i don'y know it. Called for SOS but nobody could help mi...sob sob...SOMEONE help...anyone who understands RSV and NDV..

Super stress right now and all i can do is pray for a clear mind to do my projects andunderstand my exam.

Went for Korean BBQ for dinner today.Food so so only....
Poor seating arrangement in the car, ended up pissed off and shouted. Sorry Kris..T.T
After dinner went to michie house to crap and ba gua.I feel very out of place though.

A supper disater

Wanted to go to 7 eleven to buy supper but suddenly lost energy in my leg and just fell down infont of the traffic light. Now i have painful wounds on my fingers and knee. It hurts so much. Everything is swollen.

Been having gastric and stomach flu for 3 weeks plus and still no recovery. Everytime i eat i always want to vomit. So i only have 1 meals per day.

Went to school and they say: "wo shi yi ge rong yi shou shang de nu ren". Haha....so true...internally and externally and even emotionally.