Sick Day

Haiz another sick and boring day....medication and more medication....so many things in my mind till i don't know which to think about. Yes try not to think too much, but easier said then done. I really trying my best but i guess it isn't enough.

No inspiration in doing my project...(I'm like those writers...if i have the inspiration i will stay in front of my com and do my project and dun eat or slep one..like in comics..haha)

I feel so emotionless...guess been hurt so many times and after all that i have gone through, i really give up and hold no hopes le. Sometimes i feel that dying can slve everything but thinking of the consequences its not worth it. I must wait till the day god decides to bring me home to him. He was my creator and i have no right to destroy his creations. I can't save the world but at least myself i guess. Plus i will hurt the ppl around me. I really don't know. It seems that i', getting worst but i dun want to tell my mum cause i don't want her to worry. Sometimes when she worry she express it in forms of anger and she even slap me for saying i wanted to die. I guess i deserve it. I dun blame her though.

Life is just so miserable. I no longer fear death but i fear the living the environment the ppl in this world around me. Such horror.