I Don't Know Why it Hurts...but no tears

Hearing what you said.

Seeing your messages.

All your reactions.

I feel devasted.

I should have cherised you but now its too late. I deserve it i guess. You all may say i will find someone better but stil....

The other i'm just speechless and refuse to think no more to this friendship. Whether is it tre or not.

I feel numb but yet hurt but i just can't cry....no tears flow from my eyes...y do i become such a person. I feel as though i'm just wearing a mask and i never want to take off.

My primary 1 stusent asked me, you dun want to have baby? Cause u say you don't want to go into a relationship yet. She thinks that there shouldbe a long term relationship, then comes marriage followed by babies. I am totally speechless. She hates to study but she can ask me such questions just to kill time. Still trying ways to let her do tuition work and her to try working harder. The mentality now is just TV and games and she doesn't like to study nor have tuition. So hard to talk and convince her. Her brother was willing to work hard though. I wonder, bro and sis but minds are alike and yet so different in ways.

Apparently she went through my bag and pen out everything and saw a mirror and she liked it and asked if she could have it. Her face and the smile just left me with no choice. I gave it to her since she liked it so much. (Hopefully her mum won't scold her). I know i shouldn't let she climb over my head as a tutor but i just can't bring my heart to be a strict teacher. I had tuition last time and my mum canning mi for any maths question that i dun know..i can so totally understand the student's feeling and mentality. I just have to find a way to switch it. Mine was switch on only till i recieve my 'O' level results.....and have been doing fine till now in uni. Hopefully i can really help them improve. Though 2 of them really did showed improvements, one was my previous student the other the current one. Hopefully I can work my ways out of this suitation again. (-.-)