After so long till its serious

Sick since 20th dec till today. First was diarrhoea then followed by food poisioning and stomach flu, followed by vomitting, flu, cough, toothache, high fever for 2 days, cramp and sore throat. Can't talk without feeling the pain. Even swallowing saliva is very painful worst still eating food and swallowing medications.

Went to see the the private doctor at gleneagles also and almost got admitted into the hospial for depression so as to keep me under control.

Super sad, could have been on a holiday, events and all gatherings but because of my health miss out on so many things. Health really means alot. Seriously. Having all the rishes in the world cannot compare to ur health.Been so long since i was sick this serious already and it feels teribble till i even feel like going through injections even foe te fear of needles and worst, feel like dying to stop feeling the pain.

However, I came to realise and I really salute those who are suffering more than me and want to fight to live. So i should not give up no matter what. ^^,

Term 3 Here i Come

Woah....finally the figh for term 2 is coming to an end. One more project to go and term 3....followed by Term 4 and i graduate....yipeeee.....

Been so busy with health and school and work....super stress.....want to save on medical blls but thecurrent doctor is not helpful...making things worst for me...what should i do. Which should i choose?

Private doc = $$$$ = effective Government doc = $$ = not so effective

Really pray for a quick recovery and a smooth rad ahead. Not only for me but everyone else...Everyone so busy and going though lots of tough times...but believe it or not everyone will get their happy ending as long they fight for it. So GAMBETTE!!!! everyone.

Today i believe is the release of O level results i guess...saw alot of student taking their cert and counting points....I overheard ppl scoring single digit points and its like nothing to them...Gosh...such a tough fight...luckily i'm over that time and i'm here...Hey even if you score badly doesn't mean you can't go further...I scored 27 points and in poly i got a GPA of 3.23/4 and now i'm in UNI. As long as you work hard and want to achieve...nothing can stop you. Yeah!!!!!!

Scary Day

I don't know what happen today but i started crying and screaming, hitting myself against the wall and thought of jumping off my flat from my room. Till now my head still hurts form the knocking against the walls and window grill. I don't know whats happening to me.

People scold me say it all in my mind and that i can control. Its not easy. You have not gone through what i have and u are not me. You never got depression so how can u judge me. You ask me to stop medication and all those...u think u are helping me but u are not i can tell me. You are making me worst then before and please just stop making things worst for me.

I am already starting not to trust any other people and isolating myself from the crowd. So just let me be. Sometimes it is so difficult to act as though nothing have happened. But it have. So please just stop pressuring me. I really feel afriad of what happened to me this afternoon. At this rate, maybe death is the only choice.

Silly CHELSEA

First it was quite noisy (well everyday). She keep trying to knock the barrier board down and manage to do so then every day try knock down the dustbin or put her nose into it. Then yesterday i stayed in my room. She was so quite, i though she was asleep. I wanted to wash the cup and throw rubbish and the next thing i saw....hahahahaha....I SWEAR and cross my heart i didn't put i on her. She just sat there and didn't move cause it was just pure darkness. When i took the thing out. inside was all the saliver...apparently she wanted to eat some of it. In the end i had to wash her whole head to prevent ants bite and she seriously hates bath. I think she really regretted it or maybe not, cause she did the same thing over and over again. We can no longer throw rubbish in that bin already. Only the main chute.

Aftermath of being too nosy against the bin and curiousity

People say curiousity killed the cat

but in my case curiousity of dogs results in the above

Death and life

Why do i seeand feel that love hurts more then death. I am seeking for the one to believe in. I know it is not an easy task. Jesus went through so much pain. I feel so lost...so numb...just feel like crying all day and not bother on what is going around me.

Why do people keep shouting at me scolding me. Using me. Lying to me. Backstabing me and so many more.... Is this life? I guess so. Nothing can change i guess. I just hope i can seek "you in time and just end all pain in this world.

I'm not crazy. I'm not any druct addict. I am not crazy. Not a drug addict. You don'tm know what I am you though. You don't worth to be my doctor. So what if i die if i take that medicine. You say since i have been taking it for almost a year and nothing happen so it should be ok to give me th medicine. You don't listen to my cries. All you think is that you willl only spend 10 minues per patient. You don'y deserve to be a doctor and even more not deser ving the name of being called a specialist on how u treat the auntie and me. You are not a good doctor. I hate you and i hate mself for hating someone like you.

I don't deserve anything good i guess. I owe to everytone in my past life.

Do not keep messaging me after u read this it will just drive me off the edge. I don't know what i will do. Just let me vent out here and within.

Super Stress

Exam time again....so stress so afraid of the coming papers which is next week...>.<, unable to absorb anything into my mind. I just feel so tired ad restless.

So many things going through my mind. Just pray that the paper will go ez on me.

Went out with ye ye today, my break day. Long time no see (almost half a year or more le) and still no change...haha...also the caring grandfather for mi...always there for me though his phone keep ringing throughout the day. Thank you. Gambatte i know u working very hard so wish u all the best. Sob still say want to celebrate and make it a big day for mi as my belated birthday but not even a slice of cake...>.<...haha

Like my family doctor preaching to me. I must find that someone to believe and love ( which is god almighty) and not fall for the 4 elements that the fallen angel will try to lure me aways. Must really make the effor to go church le. Have been some time already. To seek comfort and peace.