Trying to change

Life an't getting easy for me. It seems like people around me just can't accept me for who i am. I admit my flaws and i am trying to change my self. To be a better me. A more self-controlled and carefree person. Living life happy regardless of those idiot "sexual predators" around and all the negative things happening around me.

Friends and relatives wants me to return to the old me. The happy go lucky and bubbly and talktive me. Now the kind of me is the kind that wants to just stay in one corner of the room and just stay there not wanting to hear anything and say anything. Just sit and sleep there and never waking up.

I am still entangled by the past and present. Known friends that aren't friends. People keep telling me that my Mr Right have not come along but how will i know. Maybe i should just be alone. Just stay with my pets. Don't need no one. Don't trust no one. You never know when will one backstab you.

To know a guy friend one it seems like they only want sex. One just very straightforward and asked. Where i want to go. I said to plaza singapure. He said i only want to go to Hotel 81 and watch DVD if not don't one. I said no and i won't bother him anymore and he said please don't bother me anymore so i deleted his contact immediately. Y do i always end up meeting these kind of guys that end up hurting me. All i want is to know more friends.

A Question

If someone asked you this question. Will you love mi regardless of my financial status.

How will u answer?

If u love me you will want me to be happy and not stress about finance of the family. I don't ask for much. Just a normal HDB flat and able to pay bills and eat out at times. Is that too much to ask? Is this considered materialistic?

If someone asked you after sometimes in the marriage and he goes broke will u still love him.

How will u answer?

I believe by then we will have some savings and i have a stable job to help go through the tough time but of course u have to stand back on your feet, be realistic and work hard to help in the family. If you just stay where u are and not willing to work, definately it will be too stressful for me to "yang ni" and let people say nasty stuff about u. Can you accept it?


To start a family love and finance is a necessity. How can we choose either one. It can only be weigh on a scale but both must be present.

Is my concept wrong?

Pastor Prince

"I rather be blessed and persecuted, than to be cursed and persecute othes"

Commentor

Don't even dare to make yourself known and yet leave such comments about people whom you don't know just to leash out ur anger. Now i wonder, who is the childish one here. I dare to blog i dare to accept comments cause it ain't true. Just want to let the world know that there are such a person out there like you and how much disgrace you brought to yourself. Pity.

You argue that me having this age of barely 22 have 8 ex totally shows that it's my fault in the relationship. So i guess you aren't that popular in relationship and have never got that chance. Plus definately you are a guy that can't take other people's point of view and always want to be right.

You say what era am i in to have 8 ex at suh a age. I wonder what era you are in then. Oh ya. You can phrase your words so well i guess u shouldn't be that stupid to be unable to ead in between the lines of people's blog ba.

Admendments

8 relationships. Is actually 4. The other 4 was crushes but i felt it was a relationship to me. So judge me for what you want cause i don't care. People who really know me knows the truth. If you feel good to write things like these by all means. As long people believe in and trust me is all that is needed.

I will submit to No-one

I wasn't like this before but something made me change and i can neverhange back again. No one have one through what i've gone though and no one knows what i truely feel not even myself. I just try to hide and hide and sometimes it just pops out like a jack in the box. I am brought up to not depend on men. Men in my family cannot be trusted and had hurt me and my mother and grandmother. Its enough. Just let us go.

Everytme i get into a relationship, i warn ppl about my character and they all say they can take it. Tell me how much they love me and no matter what they will still love me. All are rubbish. 8 relationships all failures.

I admit that i am:
- tempremental (easily gets agitated and flares up but cools downs easily)
- lazy - weak in health
- still hanging on the fears of the past
- loud
- crazy
- daring ( in a sense of speech)

and many more......If you cannot accept the worst of me then u are not worthy to accept the best from me. I will submit to no-one.

Don't provoke me and don't even think about trying to take advantage of me. I have had it. Don't make me turn into a wandering spirit and dun make me unfilial to my mother.